The sight of a child suckling its mother’s breasticle in public is perhaps the most offensive sight to be seen. When I go to an eatery, I go to eat, not be exposed to some dimply breasticle on a frumpy woman with deep circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. That is public nudity and it’s not the type of nudity meant or desired to be seen. No one authorized these women to bust out a boob mid-mall from which their little lads and lassies slurp. It’s at times like these that I begin to wonder if class has fallen to the point that its resurrection is insurmountable.
Wouldn’t we scoff if a man unveiled his protruding grape sack at a steakhouse and had his child down there sucking for nourishment? Indeed we would and should. We in no way should give women a pass. Oh, that’s right, they’re providing food and nutrients to their babies. Right. The same nutrients that can be provided by a bottle, sparing the eyes, psyches, and memories of those with whom they interact.
For nine months these women turbulently torture everyone in their wake. Waddling their way through the day, big belly busting their britches and knocking over displays in stores, these women ignite nerves that lay dormant. Their skin often breaks out making them difficult to face. They’re prone to moans, sick days, and ghoulish attire. As if this nine month barrage of preggers’ attacks was not enough, once that baby comes barreling out of the womb, the assault continues with exposed boobage. We’ve had enough.
It’s time to restore dignity to our society. To all you Preggers Pollies and Boobage Dollies: never whip out a boob to feed a child in public. Ever. Ever. Ever. For if you do, the men of the world will respond by whipping out their own offensive weaponry.
Categories: Misc
The Social Moth 
Leave a comment